In an inspiring poem entitled 'Living Boldly" by Carolyn Mary Kleefeld she writes, "Few of us have the capacity for truth. Fewer yet are brave enough to utter it."
Countless brave souls have had the courage to stand up for what they believe in even when it meant sacrificing their life. I am inspired by Marguerite Porete... her early fourteenth century book entitled The Mirror of Simple Souls describes seven stages of spiritual growth on the path to God, and the way in which a soul can resonate to the love of God. She believed in eventual union with God and this threatened the church. Her book was suppressed on the basis that it expressed the "heresy of the free spirit" and because she would not recant, was burned alive on June 1, 1310 in France. Heartbreaking!
My journal entry from last Tuesday at around 2:45a:
Holding secrets seems to be part of every soul's journey. Something happens or we receive information that is too painful, scary or overwhelming to process, so we stuff it deep into our subconscious (the body). These secrets are often held for generations, until one day they begin to churn so violently, that the soul is no longer willing or able to contain them. They may burst to the surface in the form of disease, or Spiritual awakening. Either way, transformation has begun.
I was 5 years old when I first learned to keep secrets. Recently, while sorting through old pictures, I was shocked to see the associated veil of guilt and shame that showed up so clearly on my little face. Makes me wonder if teachers are taught to look for possible signs of abuse in children from their school pictures; the pursed lips, dark circles and an unwillingness to make eye contact are so telling!
The demons of fear, guilt and shame held me hostage until I was 15 years old. Then without warning, I erupted like a volcano and anyone who went to school with me during those days, knew I would fight at the drop of a hat. For a brief moment, I had no fear. My loneliness had turned to resentment, anger and rage. I'd like to say that everything got hashed out in the fights on the school yard, but alas that was not the case. However, through that experience I learned that at some point we must be willing to stand alone with our Truth and boldly speak it. If necessary, shout it!
Sometimes a secret is held because revealing it, could mean we will be rejected by those we love. The secret that I've been afraid to speak:
I am a Christian Mystic.
I am in pursuit of communion with, and conscious awareness of God through direct experience by daily prayer, meditation and yoga.
I believe...
God is Love.
Love is unconditional and there is no power stronger.
Christ is the "logos" made flesh.
the Kingdom of God is within every soul.
God is in ALL...our destiny is to see this.
we are here to overcome just as Christ overcame.
in our darkest hour, if we turn to Christ, He is there.
in the Holy Spirit.
the Bible is inspired of God.
the Bible has also been translated to suit the biases of man.
there are other sacred texts that are inspired of God.
Christ transcends religion.
the Bible has esoteric messages that have yet to be revealed (this excites me)!
Christ transcends (our limited perception) of space and time.
it is self righteous to believe any one group of people has a monopoly on God.
we are created in God's image, not the other way around.
in the Great Mystery (which we may contemplate but never know)
There will be those who resonate with what I've said here and others who will not, and either view is not mine to control.
What I believe is not who I am.
Beware of that which is right in front of you; then you will be able to grasp what is out of your sight. For there is nothing hidden that will not be known. - The Gospel of St. Thomas
A few Christian Mystics:
Teresa of Avila
Hildegard of Bingen
St. Francis of Assisi
St. John of the Cross
Meister Eckhart
Catherine of Siena
Julian of Norwich
Thomas Merton
"It is tragic how few people ever ‘possess their
souls’ before they die… Most people are other people. Their thoughts are
someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a
quotation..." -Oscar Wilde
